What a hopeless year it has been. The year that was supposed to be a new start for me, became yet another life’s disappointment.
At the beginning of this year, I registered myself as a self-employed. I was ecstatic! For the first time, since I became disabled, I felt that I am not totally useless, and that there is still a hope to do something useful. Due to my age, I didn’t have much hope for an employment, but since I discovered a business woman in myself, my mood shot up immensely! The thrill of getting ready, making calls, visiting people, creating stock and organising everything… It was like I was in my 20s again. Full of life and adrenaline.
That was in January. By February, I had my business plan ready and I applied for a Business Grant. I was initially accepted (basing on my circumstances). Now was the time to propose my business plan and hope that it’s good enough. I had a business advisor working with me. After initial proposal, I had to make some slight improvements to the plan, but generally it was good enough and I was initially accepted for the grant.
Then it has started. Initially just a few sentences about a virus in Italy, then more and more… I watched the news and it hit me – I am not going to pull it off. I truly had a feeling like there was an omen hanging over my head. It felt like I was not allowed to be happy. It felt like some evil is playing with me, teasing me with hope and excitement for a while, and then shoving every hope for my happiness into a well of sufferings and disappointments.
So, COVID 19 took over and I had to seriously put myself together and make sure that I do not sink into a depression. It was a huge job. The pandemic managed to mess up many people. Particularly those used to extensive socialising, I mean partying, dining out, regular pub goers etc. In my case, the bad luck brought back the old times. In my head, I heard voices of my parents telling me that I am useless. I “saw” kids from my childhood pointing fingers at me and laughing that yet again I failed. That I am not capable of doing anything useful. I had a feeling of failure engraving deeper and deeper into my soul. I was dangerously close…
Then I watched the news, and I told myself that I have to be rational. I mean, the situation is bad for everyone. Some people are even worse off than me. At least I wake up and am able to go to the kitchen and have a breakfast. Some people don’t have this luxury. But I tell you the truth guys. In my house – so long my animals are fed and kept warm – nothing else matters. HAHAHA As to the business – well, if Donald Trump could become a president, I think, I can do practically anything. I just have to be a bit more patient, a bit longer.
It is difficult to get yourself away from sad thoughts, when there is no one around to hold your hand. I learned to manage that on my own, but most people need someone to guide them. Life is cruel and it is tougher for those, who were born with silver spoon in their mouths (believe or not). Why? Because “snowflakes” freak out as soon as a minor hic-ups appear. A little failure, a bad comment, someone’s disapproval… All this is going to shake “snowflakes” badly. So, can you imagine the situation that require tough decisions and sacrifice? They are going to fail so badly!
Another thing – our Millennials have very little face to face social contact. Online socialising is the latest trend. It is somehow useful now, during pandemic, but imagine that suddenly there is no power, no internet… My gosh! They would be so f****d!!!! The parents provided “safe bubble”. Schools are forced to do the same. Kids are told that they are beautiful and capable of everything. Many of them are, but a good chunk of those kids are just narcissistic offspring. Demanding all – giving f**k all. Almost every kid nowadays is trying to find fame on the internet. Lots of them are hoping to become so called “influencers” and earn thousands online. They just don’t realise that there will be only a few lucky ones that will reach that goal. Of course, there is nothing bad in trying, but many of the contestants do not try anything else. The clever thing is to have some backup plan, such us a good education, or some other idea of having an income in the future. Some kids don’t need to worry – they have parents that can ensure that there will be a position within family business, should pursuit of fame fail. How about those, who don’t have such opportunities? They need guidance. But it has to be a realistic guidance. I observed that parents and teachers tend to prize very highly just for an effort. There is nothing wrong with it, so long it’s only to enforce the good work. The ultimate prize and glory, however, should be reserved for the best. In our modern society, the “stress less child upbringing” is the machine producing “snowflakes”.
For example: kids get a task of drawing an apple. The goal is to make it as realistic as possible. The price is a big box of chocolates. Everyone is trying hard, some of them drawings are truly fantastic, but little Tracy’s work is phenomenal! It looks almost like a photograph. So little Tracy gets the first price and she is handed a glorious chocolate box. Other kids are jealous, a few of them even cry. And then it happens – the others are getting smaller boxes of chocolates, because otherwise, they are stressed and it is not healthy.
The above example is fictional and a bit exaggerated, but I am trying to prove my point. We are teaching kids that trying is enough, and finishing the job is not necessary, as we will get reward anyway. Later in life, they will face the harsh reality, while looking for and/or getting a job. The boss will not be happy with them trying. The boss needs the job to be done to best quality. Those who can do win – those who just try lose. So you tell me what is more harmful: the stress coming from not getting a box of chocolates (an event that is going to be forgotten within a week, or so), or stress coming from unemployment and inability to provide for yourself and possibly for your family in the long run?
There is a significant difference between bullying and teaching consequences. The first one is an intentional action with meaning to cause harm. The latter is a controlled role play and introduction of meaning of consequences of particular actions and behaviours. Such lessons provided with a strict and realistic approach, with an inspirational guidance, would prepare young people for facing real life challenges and for dealing with stressful situations with confidence.
But I am rambling here. New Year started. Time to shake off 2020 and to step proudly into 2021. Lets hope that this year will be better than the old one. And if not – we will try to make it a bit more bearable. At the end of the day nothing is impossible. Life is as you make it!
TAKE CARE GOOD PEOPLE. HAPPY NEW YEAR AND I SHALL RAMBLE AGAIN AT SOME POINT SOON.
Kommentit